Mini Entry - Quick Festive Trip to Beijing & First Hand Experience With Performance Bollocks - I mean artists!

Quick weekend escape to Beijing. No great adventure planned, just Sunlitan, some food, some wine and catch up with a new friend I met at orientation. Has been four months since we saw one another, but during that one week we seemed to click. I adopted her as my little sister and I have a sneaking suspicion this is going to be a long friendship indeed. Her name is Ashleigh.

So, Friday post my 2pm class (which wasn’t overly taxing, I popped on the Disney version of A Christmas Carol for the kids and sat down the back enjoying their reactions) Robyn and I jumped on the bullet train heading into Beijing. 1 hour trip, I should come here more often once I start getting paid a normal salary.

Stayed in the same hostel as last time, same issue as well… the room was uncomfortably hot, I’ll go so far as to say stinking hot… and its wasn’t that cold outside… there was no justsification for the temperature. We didn’t really want to open the window given there was a red alert for pollution levels. Popping down to reception we asked the staff if we could get the heating turned down:

“No… It is controlled by Beijing government”

“Sorry… the heating?”

“Yes, all of Beijing heating is controlled by the government”

Well… this is a new one

“Can we get the control for the air conditioner then?”

“No… this is also with the government”

Ok… now I don’t believe her at all. Long story short it was going to be a scorcher of a night.

We headed out, first stop… the MOJITO MAN! Potentially illegal, whose to know, but a nice strong and sharp mojito on a frosty cold night wandering the streets of sociable Sunlitan… how can one say no?

An entertaining evening was had with some carolling (by the two of us) to the projected Santa, Reindeer and Christmas tree being displayed on the Intercontinental Building. We popped past a strange pseudo exhibition promoting Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them, happy snaps here there and everywhere, back to the hostel for more of the drinking and friend making and a rather nasty headache awaited us both the following day.

But, with great strength and determination we rose for a hearty English breakfast, two DELICIOUS cups of tea for me and then headed to my favourite place in China… the Book Worm, to meet Ash and get back to the business of the eating and the drinking.

It is the festive season after all.

A long story short, Robyn had to leave at 4pm to go back to Tangshan… work on Sunday, which left Ash and I to continue our catch up and see where the afternoon and evening would take us.

I didn’t expect it to take us where it took us…

We ended up in a supermarket which is also a bar… so kind of a pub type business in a bottle-o. A mixture of Chinese and Westerners, smoking, sticky floors, too-loud music and a derelict toilet. I felt like I was back in my 20’s hanging out in the ‘cool’ dives. These days the quality of the bathroom dictates my patronage.

Ash made some rather Australian noise gaining the attention of a guy and a girl at a different table, the guy – Nick – being from Brisbane and was delighted to meet some fellow Aussies. They asked if we’d like to come to a house party, free food and drinks, apparently some good people. Ash was keen. I was not. Ash won.

In my mind I saw a little backyard or balcony type thing, some beers in the fridge, casual chats… I often forget where I am… and I am not in Kansas any more.

We came to an empty looking apartment building, scooted up some rickety one-person-at-a-time stairs and knocked at a door on the third level. The door creaked open, just so slightly, a man glanced at us and then saw Nick.

“We’re not ready”

“Can we come in?”

“Yes… but you need to wait in my bedroom”

So we gained admission and were hustled into the bedroom, where, to my amazement and amusement, another five people were already waiting… looking almost as confused as I.

What was then discovered is that we had come to a live performance art piece and we were going to, somehow, be involved.

Now, I’m all for art… what I am not all for is pretentiousness, rudeness and ridiculousness. The woman who was in charge of the performance, but not the artist themselves (the artist was a neurotic, skittish little man whose lived in China too long and lost any of the usual Western niceties), was outright rude and condescending and… SHE TOLD ME OFF!

So here we are, stuck in the bedroom, not knowing another soul, so we began chatting amongst ourselves. We were then asked to write a personal question on a piece of paper for later use. We were then told that we needed to be silent and asked to leave the apartment completely.

Now we are standing in the unlit hallway, meanwhile more people are arriving, speaking… then the lady in charge pops her head out and tells us to shut up again. I decide the time has come to play silent charades – resulting in some laughter… lady in charge head popping out and telling me, specifically, to stop what ever it is I am doing, this is serious.

Finally, lady in charge come out and advises that you can only speak with you use your lighter.

“Can I give my lighter to someone else if they want to speak”

“No”

She did give me a lighter, so I was shocked at that.

We were then invited in again. The lights were off… there were tea light candles lining the hallway. We followed the lights through to what I imagine is normally the sitting room. On the floor was a mattress, set up like a dining table, with small square mirrors as placemats, a cup, a bowl, a plate and chopsticks.

We were told to sit at the places… I was near the front of the group which meant I ended up sitting at one of the places, rather than standing at the back.

I started chatting and was again reprimanded for not using my lighter, but by the time I lit my lighter I forgot what I wanted to say so that all went terribly wrong.

We are being filmed, we are sitting around a mattress, then the lady in charge puts on very loud gonging music. Next another woman comes around the room behind us with a bucket and starts putting something from the bucket into our plates.

Someone uses the lighter, “Can we eat it?”

“Yes” says the woman in charge

“Is it vegetarian”

“Ofcourse”

Bloody right ofcourse it is, no doubt its also koscher as well as lactose and gluten free, not to mention been grown on the grave of Mother Teresa and blessed in Buddhist oils of the 

Tibetan region by a reincarnated monk who is now a goose.

Needless to say I declined the eating of the strange concoction from the bucket.

Next thing, the girl that had invited us, along with Nick, has stripped down to a little black dress, stepped over me and stands in the middle of the mattress touching her toes, then changes direction, touches her toes, and again, changes direction and touches her toes. I’m not sure whether the intent was so everyone could observe the shape of her rear, but this was the eventuation, much to some of the guests delight.

Finally the music turns off, the light comes on and we’re advised that the performance is complete. We can now enjoy the ‘house party’.

How… was… that… art?

Self indulgent bollocks.

It was interesting and not an evening I’m likely to forget any time soon, and I remember a time when I would have done anything to be part of this ‘in’ crowd, to pretend that there was some deep meaningfulness to eating gruel off a mattress by candlelight with a group of strangers. I am glad I’m not in that time any more.

I’m now back at the Book Worm, a wee carafe of wine to my right as I sit by myself in the corner typing on my laptop. I kind of feel like I’ve finally arrived to myself, I am what I always wanted to be… I’m no longer trying to be what I think myself or anyone else thought or thinks I aught to be. I teach, I write, I travel. I’m at home in who I am.

A funny thing happened when I arrived here at the Book Worm, the seat I chose has a small tower of books on the window shelf. The book on the top? “Just so stories” by Rudyard Kipling… The tales of how the elephant got his nose and the like. This is what my grandmother used to read to me as a kid. It’s nice to have her with me as I make this self discovery, what an interesting journey its been.