I slipped and fell on adventure

I was the lost girl, the never be loved girl, the sticky out doesn’t fit girl, the trying to be everyone else girl. The crying poetry writing imagination flying sitting under the slide girl. I was the wondering girl, the forgotten girl, the never understood girl, the aliens are coming girl, the someone can read my mind girl, the cut up the pictures to make a collage girl and wander through the paddocks singing to my dog girl. I was the book girl, head lost in pages girl, sad about the life of ants girl, the fearing god girl. The never good enough girl. The sitting dark deep in the well of blackness girl… I was an alone girl. I was the farm girl, who didn’t belong girl, the good at sports girl that didn’t want to play. I was the smart girl, who wanted to hide girl, that wanted to be the best girl, but felt undeserved girl, the run girl, and be someone elses fun girl but never got there. There was river… that the girl had to cross, eight out stretched arms lengths across… an

My housemate, Robyn, heads off at the end of August… so I wanted to have one last decent non-Beijing adventure with her before she moved on. Top of the list… Huangshan. A mountain known as Yellow Mountain and apparently one of the most beautiful sights in China, I sorted out a guided tour for three days during Dragon Boat Festival (this time we’d be out of pocket for a fast train… which meant comfort and speed… twice on a sixteen hour train under a blanket of Chinese personages, associating with crabs and taking in plumes of cigarette smoke, we thought we’d done our time and would enjoy a little comfort even if at a cost). Jumping on the early train to Beijing, we then hopped on the bullet through to Huangshan, a six and a half hour ride at an average speed of 300 km’s per hour  – VROOM! Said my inner five year old! Preparation is key and the train journey was part of the adventure, so individually we’d put together ‘essentials’ bags of knacks and nibbles. We shared a beer

I blame Beauty and the Beast, the original animated version, for where I am now. The song “there must be more than this provincial life” resonated with me  from a very young age. I dont know if this happens / happened to everyone... but I always felt I was on the outside, looking in... like I never belonged, could never belong. A stranger because of my own psyche. I would wander out to the ‘secret piece’, a paddock snuck away behind a thick tree line, with Barry the Dog and associating with various cows, and sing out, dreaming of a world I wanted to embrace, and experience dreams I thought were intended only for others. Belonging was a thing I have always sought after, for some its those well fitting jeans, others – that perfect man, the top job… the perfect house. I tried a high flying corporate job… nope, wasn’t that. Six year relationship, with travel included? Sadly, not the thing. For 12 months I was a size 10, finally a ‘skinny girl’, and I found the jeans – th